One year.

It has almost been a year since my grandma died, this time last year my family was preparing ourselves for her death, we knew it was coming, but I never thought that it would leave me so sad, I wasn't overly close to her, but I was close enough that it left a hole, a hole I immediately filled with my other family members, also I met my cousin for the first time, I can't say that I missed much by not knowing him, I learned that he was my family though, and that nothing could change that. No amount of pain could change the fact that he, despite the fact that he seemed distant and slightly odd to me. I heard a song a week after my grandma died. I loved it, and immediately thought that my grandma should have heard it, but she never did. The day before she died I went with my mom to visit her, when we left I didn't say that I loved her, I thought that I would see her the next day, instead I learned that she had died, I wish now that I had said that I loved her when I left but nothing will ever change the fact that I didn't. Here is the song that I wished she could have heard:


Chasen – Crazy Beautiful
From the album – Shine Through The Stars

Everybody's been there
everyone's the same
but mostly we don't care
isn't that a shame
We bring us down face after face
the inside is beautiful but the outside we want to change.
We want to change.

Chorus
Whoa you're oh so beautiful,
you don't need anyone's approval
You've got to believe in your self you know you are
You're crazy beautiful

There's no need to change
We're different but the same
In the eyes of the King
We're beautifully made
In his image we're made

Take a look it's all around you
See the world from different views
The way you shine from the inside
I know with out a doubt
It's more than what you'll be
In the world's eyes.

Whoa you're oh so beautiful, you don't need anyone's a approval
You've got to believe in your self you know you are

You're crazy beautiful


My Grandma is dead in body, but I hope that someday I will meet her again and I hope to tell her one last time that I love her.